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Words you must never use on the web

The web can be a vile place. It sometimes sickens me to see so much obscene stuff. And if you're wondering why, it's because there is really nothing stopping people. For example, I am writing this on a Saturday morning and I can post it immediately. But I won't use certain words, not even in joking, not even for reference. That's because Google is watching me.

And I do want Google to watch me. I want Google to index my posts, my websites, that sort of thing. I have Adsense ads on my blogs and Google watches me to see if I am in violation of their terms and conditions. And I have no trouble with these terms and conditions, the same way that I have no trouble with my Home Owner's Association. I know how to behave.

But the difficulty on the web is that you are being watched by robots. Actually, you are under constant scrutiny by a series of programs that looks for, and detects, if you are doing something wrong. It's done as an algorithm. And although I don't understand exactly how it works, I understand that it operates on parameters. And those parameters include certain words, which I am not going to be idiot enough to write in this blog post. If you are a grown-up, you know the words. Don't use them. At all.

And so, in spite of the fact that there is no "internet police", Google Adsense is coming very close to it. If you're like me, and write blogs about gardening, or history, or technology, like this one, you really have no reason to be nervous. Still, it's a good idea to keep the language as clean as possible. My test is to imagine an idiot friend of mine saying, "Ha! That's what she said!" If it can misconstrued, re-write it. The "bots" are watching you.

How about that? Who would have thought that advertising would actually make the web better?